Life isn’t just about the day to day business, it’s about possibilities right? Why follow a possibility that will render others obsolete? Isn’t it better to have them all in front of you, awaiting a decision that may never arrive? After all, time is on your side right? Whatever your age may be.
All you need for a possibility is a gateway, imagined or otherwise. And why should you stray far from your abode to find these gateways? After all, that could cut off several home-based possibilities right there.
Gateways to possibilities can arrive in the form of phone numbers; phone numbers adorning the leaflets covering your doormat, as well as on cards in local shop windows, and in the classified ads section of magazines and papers to be found within said newsagents. If you played your cards right, and were willing and able to empty your wallet, you could be sitting at home tonight munching on a meat supreme, whilst a woman hitherto unknown to you is doing something similar.
“But what about love” you say? I suppose after basic hunger has been appeased we ought to take our thoughts onto a higher plane. Find an exact match on cuddlylove.com and do not be ashamed of scrabbling around so desperately; its ok, after all, it could lead to another number and another gateway.
A phone number could alert an efficient salesman to the fact that you are indeed a keen gardener, and have them deliver the necessary within an exceptional time limit. Meow. A gateway to another gateway; albeit a cheap one for the newbies unable to live up to the achievements of their forebears. The price is always a good excuse though isn’t it?
Gateways to possibilities exist in countless digital windows; all within reach of your fingertips. You can make new friends that you never have to meet or even talk to. For fucks sake, you don’t even have to type anything on their profile if you don’t want to, you will still be friends.
Knowledge and information, no matter if it could be erroneous, is also at ones fingertips on this luxurious superhighway. Anything that enables you to stay at home lounging around in your underwear is luxury in your book.
You can see what you should be watching and listening to from the comfort of your own duvet; no need to seek approval in person any longer, it can all be done online.
It is also time to throw away those t-shirts declaring your love and/or hatred for (insert what you like here), you can now shout at the world digitally; just update your status and tell everyone of your friends how you feel. Most won’t give a shit but that’s no different to what you are used to in the real world anyway. The good thing about this is you can still use irony as an excuse, as it hasn’t yet run out of steam when it comes to being a get-out- clause.
What has been mentioned here is merely the tip of the iceberg, and already gives us enough reason to bring up the question “why go out”?
(writer: Jason Harper)
